Nov. 27th, 2013

diony: (Default)
Really, this month has been ridiculous; I have been sick twice, most recently these past few days, and right now my husband is ill enough we may have to push back our Thanksgiving dinner to Friday. (We are fortunate to have flexible guests.) I feel overwhelmed with minutiae, and worst of all have had no time to write, which I am beginning to realise is not good for my whole self. Hard to put into words, that, but I do feel it.

Good things have happened; there was a lovely birthday party for both my children as well as my daughter's best friend, a three-in-one that went better than I could have hoped, and I did have a very nice birthday dinner despite the pre-illness exhaustion. I had a lovely brunch with friend S. My daughter has begun doing gymnastics again and is in love with it, not just the glitter or the idea of it, but with the work; it is amazing to watch her struggle with her own shyness and find ways through, to go out on the floor with a new teacher and try something she has not tried before, and then as she settles into it she expands into the space and begins working hard to learn what is being taught. I like seeing the teacher correct her and she tries again and again to get it right, determined and without sulking, and then so proud when she succeeds. The list of things she would like to learn keeps growing; Spanish, she says, and soccer, and ballet, and more about animals and space and so on. Of course it has always been a long list -- when she was smaller it was to dance like the Red Army Dance Ensemble, to scuba dive, and to drive a garbage truck -- but I think now she is beginning to see that there are paths to it, that she might pick something and take a class and work at it and fail and try again and learn. It took me a very long time to bring that into my conscious awareness, and even now, I think, I still have many blind spots for it, so I am glad to think she is laying the foundation already.

And the minutiae returns, my son awakens from his nap and I must get up and get him and feed him lunch -- my daughter is engaging in some video time, something we try to keep within strict limits but it does spread, especially on a day like today when I am not feeling at my best and she is a little cranky as well. It is so easy to let her spend a few hours watching something I approve of (Curious George, right now, for the science and the lack of interpersonal aggression) so that I may have some space to breathe, but too much of it is not good for her nor for me.


diony: (Default)

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