diony: (Default)
I got home from Montreal late Monday, although not so late as it felt to my body, the joy of travelling west. Yesterday was settling back in, and celebrating my daughter's birthday, and then today she is back at pre-school and I am starting to find a little more the rhythm of the days. I'd never understood before, when my husband would go away, why it was so hard for him to pick up the child care again, and now I do; it is not a lack of will or good intention, but simply the reflexes dull. I kept forgetting yesterday how much I have to focus on the clock, on doing things in order, on listening and reacting, and at one point got so involved in a kitchen conversation with my housemate that I mostly missed feeding my son his breakfast, as he lost patience for sitting still before I had given him much food.

Today, though, there is some space and time to breathe, and look around, and think. Montreal was beautiful, and even the parts which were not were new, and I find I am hungry for that sort of newness; I have been living here in the Bay Area for a long time now, since the spring of 1995, and while it is a very good place, I am a little done with it. San Jose is newer, we moved here only last fall, but right now the centre of my life is still up where we were before, as that is where Julia's preschool is, and thus where her friends are and the excellent German butcher shop and so on and so forth. I am seeing how to change it, but the preschool is both excellent and affordable, so it isn't going to happen this year. Still, a new city, another language, different weather... I would like to travel more, very much, but I think even more than that I would like to live in some different places. A goal for the many years to come.

I made bread yesterday with the dough I had left in the refrigerator before I went, half semolina this time, and it seems to have come out well. My son loves to gnaw on the crusts, and Julia likes to eat the soft inside, which is a fortuituous combination. It is a little too sour for me, but that is fine, the joy is in the making of it.

Speaking of that, I should eat. Montreal had lovely food, and I especially enjoyed my first poutine experience -- and the chocolate brioche French toast at Cora's -- and the amazing macarons -- but so much of the time I was so taut with the energy of being in a new place and seeing my girlfriend and all that I didn't actually remember to eat. My body is now taking me to task for that.

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Cera

February 2014

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